The Road from Pismo. Part 2

The road from Pismo, or should I say the Road from Hell?!? Half way home, the bago is starting to sound a little wonky; like the engine is not happy with the amount of starting fluid we have to give it on a regular basis. The low power on the uphills and the top speed of 60 is telling me this could be a long stressful trip home. I'm trying not to show fear to April, but we're only an hour into our 3 and a half hour trip home and our backup is still in Pismo.

Potty breaks are forbidden as I grip the steering wheel with sweaty hands and an unblinking gaze. Whats that you say, the dogs need to pee? Not on my watch, slap a diaper on those butts; we're not stopping. April can sense my tension and Logan is snoozing so far. If we can make it to a gas station I tell myself, then I at least have access to resources.

We're getting closer to town, in fact we are slowing for a stoplight in front of a gas station. As I come to a stop, the bago decides she's had enough and dies on me. The beads of sweat and dry mouth has me second guessing not attending church on a regular enough basis. I quickly ask for forgiveness and proceed to start her back up with some starting fluid and keep the throttle high. I think the wheels chirped a bit as we lurched off the line and then turned towards the gas station. I bounce over the curb and align the nose to the closest pumps. Before I can even apply the breaks she dies and we coast into position. We're lucky it's the middle of nowhere because the work is about to begin and we'll be parked for a while.

De-greased Carter Carb circa 1973

I go through the fill up, the fluid top off and wire and hose check. No loose connections, no leaks. What is the root cause? It's got fire cause it starts. Its got fuel because I just filled it up. The low idle death rattle tells me I better check the carb. I search some you tube videos for low idle adjustment and crank that puppy up high. I don't have access to fuel pumps or fuel filters, so this is the best I can do until I can park and wait for the Summit catalog to arrive. And now the real fun begins...

Even has an electric choke

Like to wear American Flag jump suits, run stop signs and jump curbs in a 10,000 pound apartment on wheels? Then you've come to the right place. The prayers are about to pay off; we're not stopping unless they're in the crosswalk or the the law is within sight. We're slowing for yellows a mile out and coasting until the last second. Several lights I am able to time just right and my refusal to let the bago die coincides with green lights. I use this technique all the way through Bakersfield, Porterville and to the main streets of Springville. My parent's drive way is a 90 degree turn off of highway 190, which requires a slow and cautious turn and ascension. Not this Evil Kenevil; not when I've risked the lives of my family and two wiener dogs. We're gonna gun a 90 degree turn at a 35 degree incline. I steer wide right and make a hard left, full throttle. The rest is a blur because all I can think about is the bago dying and rolling helplessly backwards into highway 190. Some how we make it to the top of the hill and after talking myself into it, parking it back on the landing half way back down the hill. It's time for some serious engine work. Stay turned for the next episode....

The Road to Pismo. Part 1

Now that we're officially RVers and have the internal necessities for survival and comfort, we agree that a family road trip is in order. The location: Pismo Coast Village. The time; Christmas break. My parents have a trailer they drive out from Springville while we follow them out along scenic highway 58. My sister and her family have a massive five star trailer that on command, is towed into their reserved site at the village. Upon arrival the village is nearly empty, mostly because it's a Wednesday and secondly because it's the off season. We find our site and instantly feel right at home in this new world.

We circle the wagons, plug in and hook up. RV speak for we now have water and power at our disposal. There are ducks and squirrels galore, both to the delight of our two wiener dogs and our bouncing baby boy. The PCV is quite nice, and the regulars have not flown south for the winter. We even get some familiar nods for our retro bago; high marks for the Hawk. The days leading up to Christmas eve are spent with walks on the beach, large camp meals, swimming at the heated pool, chasing ducks and playing 'cornhole' with the family. Cornhole is the bean bag version of 'horseshoes'.

 

Logan's routine is as normal as we can make it, but he realizes there is fun to be had and cheats his way through afternoon naps. We typically find him peaking out the bago curtains half way through a nap, or as we like to call it, adult time. So adult time has given way to kid time but that's just fine with us. We're roughing it; not in a tent and not in a hotel.Our plan is to stay until Christmas Eve morning and drive home to spend Christmas Eve with April's family. We spend a very Charlie Brown eve together with my family and pack up for our journey home.

This is the 'Time to let me out' look.

Christmas Eve Eve with the family before our journey home.

What does Ikea, Melvin's Tires and Camping World have in common? Our money.

Chevy dually rims

After the clean-up, flooring and cleaning the rims we decide that it's probably a good idea to pursue some new tires before we have another blowout. We visit the local tire shop; Melvin's Tire. Melvin's Tire is the best place to get tires in California, hands down. The service and price is what I am most thankful for. Bill Melvin and his son run the show and worked hard to locate tires that would actually fit the old rims. He said they would take a week to get there and would run about $1600 total for a set of 6 tires. He put his creative hat on and suggested I go a different route though. The tires are rare, and if we ever needed to replace one we'd go through a process to get a hold of one. They had the inside track on a set of rims from a Chevy dually. If they fit, we'd be able to get replacement tires very easily and the tires would have a higher load capacity and mileage on them. We ended saving a couple hundred dollars, have new shiny rims and more confidence in a better tire. If you're any where near Porterville CA and need a tire, call Bill Melvin.

 Next step is replacing the mattress and futon covers from the items we had to dispose of. One stop at Ikea and we get two futon mattresses, two down mattress toppers and a futon cover set. All total; $600. Very comfortable, just need to 'adjust' the length by 3 inches or so and we're ready to go. You can wash the cover, just don't try and dry it or you'll melt it. And yes, I am speaking from experience.

It's time to have some experts look into the status of whats working and whats not working. Or as I like to call it; paying a lot of money to heat water. What would you pay to have hot water in the great outdoors? Was that $5,000 you said? Why yes, that is what I am willing to pay! We have a new internally accessible water heater, new water tank and city water hook ups all installed There's more we can do according to the 45 point inspection, but this is what we choose to start with.

Camping World in Bakersfield has a scientific formula for calculating how much you are willing to pay based on your age, body fat percentage and last known address. April and I are fairly young, skinny enough to freeze in the woods and spoiled rotten by the Southern California sunshine. All these factors are dollar signs at Camping World.

What I quickly realize while in the lobby at Camping World is there is a significant age gap in the RV'ers lined up to have work done on their vehicles. I imagine that the patrons parked outside are driving a wide variety of vehicles based on their driving habits and specific needs.  The real variety of vehicle ownership is based on a relation of what you can afford and what you need to be comfortable. I imagine the million dollar rigs pulling up makes me feel a little more rugged and less worried about paying so much for the luxury of hot water. I see myself as the Grizzly Adams of the RV world; roughing it in the wild sans jacuzzi hot tube and satellite TV. At least a Grizzly Adams that can shave with hot water if he wishes it.

Liscense and Registration

Now the former Colorado native and current California Winnebago isn't exactly street legal for a number of mechanical reasons, most notably the crack in the gray water tank but I won't go into details on why driving with a leaky gray water tank is bad in this post. The tags are about to expire and the Bago needs to be under our name and not Hawk's.

Now we could drive to the Porterville DMV, but if you've been to one recently you would know that DMV lines are a bit like walking into a Walmart; you are going to see some strange people. Those of you familiar with Porterville also know that geographics will also play a significant role in the kind of people you will see. April and I received some good advice; if you're a Triple A member you can take care of registration and new license plates at the local Triple A office.




It's better one stop shopping than a Walmart and a lot safer too. We stop and fill out the proper forms, pay the fees and now it's time for the most important question; personalized plates? Now April and I have been debating naming the Bago. She wants to name it like some sort of adoptive child, more so because while she was on pain meds after the birth of our son I was able to corner the market on naming our son. This is April's opportunity to select a name she might have chosen for our son if not for strong pain meds. I want to name it after the previous owner's middle name (one of three middle names listed on the previous registration), HAWK. There is also a Hawk figure glued to the 'nose' of the Bago, completing the justification. After some deliberation we opt to not be that goofy and go plain on the plates.


The Triple A manager is having some trouble; apparently matching the VIN number is hard to do when there are multiple numbers associated with the vehicle. First it's a Dodge chassis, specifically a Dodge RM300 with a Dodge 318 engine. Now the good people of Winnebago County, Iowa saw fit to give the chassis the famous 'Brow' body which has it's own numbers as well. Between the chassis, engine and body serial numbers, she writes all three down and spits it into the database. The manager completes the background check and we are given plates on the spot, holy moly! They keep plates there at the office ready to go like warm cheeseburgers under the heat lamps. We hit the road and are ready for the next adventure.

What could possibly go wrong?

Flooring, Sandblasted Rims and R.O.U.S.

The Transformation begins!

My parents have a nice sized property in Springville CA; an area at the base of the Sequoia National Forest. Like most children who make irrational purchases and have no place to store them, my parents were happy to share their homestead with the Bago. My dad even went so far as to grade out a parking spot near the base of the hill near a gate with easy access to their driveway.

We start opening up compartments, and I found out where the smell has been coming from. A huge ball of insulate and rat turds. Rats have been living next the the water tank and water heater. This is all located under the futon which explains why stray dogs were so interested in the rancid mattress pad. The damage to the area and the thought that I might take a shower with water that is stored in proximity to this horrible mess is frightening to say the least. I imagine that the rats, and I say rats because the volume of poop is impressive, had a lot of time on their hands.

The rats probably looked something like this and smoked unfiltered Lucky cigarettes. Even though we were able to vacuum most of the rat mess from every crack of the Bago, the smell is still there. We turn to bleach, simple green and a whole lotta elbow grease. I surmise that the term originated from someone on their knees scrubbing rat stains until their elbows were themselves stained with rat droppings.

Cleaning Rims and Adding flooring

Once clean and smelling nice, we are able to start on the linoleum flooring. We chose a walnut wood grain which compliments the rest of the wood paneling inside. All we need is denim curtains and we've got a Canadian Hyatt. If you click on the photo slide show you get an idea of the process to lay and trim the flooring. It was a painful realization that we were not able to salvage the original orange flooring. Let that be a lesson to you you you carpet pushers! Earlier in the week we had the old tires taken off the rims and sandblasted. My dad primed them with gray paint and we had the tires put back on and balanced. Considering the blow out on the trip up to central California, we'll need to look into new tires soon.

I Heart Winnebago

Ain't she a beaut?!

This is the first chance we had to go through the interior of the Bago after our daring road trip home. The futon bed pad, curtains and mounds of trash are so gross they are tossed. The carpet is torn and muddy so that goes too. Underneath the carpet we discover the original orange flooring. It looks like faux marble. What quarry on this planet produces orange marble I wonder? The previous owner's dog must have repeatedly pee'd on the bed because the neighborhood dogs are rolling on the mattress. We spent hours washing the interior and exterior but there's still a funky smell coming from somewhere...

The Winnebago Man

 

We spotted a documentary in Netflix called the Winnebago Man. The story of an industrial commercial made by the good people of Winnebago industries. These are the outtakes from their production. Cover your ears if you do not want to hear profanity and the defamation of flies.

Our First Road Trip

April and I arrange to drive to Topanga Canyon to check out a $1,500 73 Winnebago Brave. I talked with a really nice guy named Hawk that grew up in Topanga, went to college in Boston and frequented Colorado. He was selling his 73 Brave and wanted to make sure we cut the mustard before he handed his baby over to just anyone. We passed the test and now it was our turn; drive to Topanga and get a look at what might be the sweetest investment we've ever made. We meet Teddy's dad who is very nice and has an old hot rod hidden under a tarp in his drive way; already a good sign. We agree upon a price and he shows us the trick to gettin the lovely lady going, which includes the mystery pedal, starting fluid, and the 10 minute warm-up. I drive her out of the winding roads we fill up for gas and we're on our way. Not ten feet out of the gas station a couple of guys in a van next to me yell out their window and ask if we want to sell our sweet ride. "Not today sir, we just bought her!" We're beaming with pride. Steering the 5 ton rv is no easy task, the power steering needs power, and stiff breezes push me dangerously close to passing Honda Civics. The fear in their eyes tells me I'm running out of lane; people generally give you a wider birth in relation to either your driving skills or the size of your vehicle. In our case it's both.

About an hour into drive along the 5 Freeway I'm awoken from my daze by a gunshot that forces me to swerve and pump adrenaline into my steering muscles. A blow out at 60 miles per hour along the 5 is enough to make you rethink going to church more often. We pull off the road and luckily we park in a pull-out along a sod farm in Castaic. As traffic flies by and we wait for Triple A to arrive I realize I'm in a room bigger than my first apartment and life isn't that bad. A couple hours later, and several prayers directed at the tread life of a tire that came off of the assembly line in 1995, we're off. I've hit every button and switch on the dash until I locate the high beams and now I know that the interior lights work, the wipers work, and there are about 9 switches that don't have any discernible effect whatsoever. We make it to Porterville and park at April's mom's house to show off the goods. We're already day dreaming about the wonderful ways in which we can fix her up and customize the 70's interior decorum. Next step is a bath and find out where the urine smell is coming from.